How my childhood shaped me

I grew up in poverty. I had three sisters, and my father was the only working parent. We lived in a single wide trailer on his family's land. He didn't make enough money to support us, and we relied very much on the kindness and generosity of my father's family, who all lived in a very small part of the Alabama country side. We never had much, though I never realized how bad we had it until I was much older. I remember wearing a lot of my older sister's hand me downs, and shopping sales. My parents fought a lot about money. Food was never too scarce from what I remember, but our pantry was never as well stocked as the pantry at our friends houses. My mother confesses to buying stale bread at the local Piggly Wiggly for $0.25 a loaf and freezing it, so that we had bread. We never went hungry, thank goodness. However, my mother has confessed to me about how she got down to a ghostly 85 lbs. (she's 5' 7'') when our money was really low. She always made sure we ate first, and she deprived herself.

Despite living paycheck to paycheck, there were plenty of times when my parents had to borrow money to make ends meet. I'm not saying we had it as bad as some, but we were by no means a rich family. We didn't have cable TV, so we spent much more time playing pretend games, playing outside, and using our imaginations. We made things out of boxes and string and whatever we had. If we didn't have it, we pretended. I have many fond memories of my childhood, and playing games with my sisters. And even though we didn't have the latest toys or cable, I don't feel as if I was deprived something. We didn't go to ice cream shops or out to dinner, and I can count on one hand the number of times we went to an amusement park. My point is that I didn't feel as if I was missing out, because to me our life was the life of every other kid in the world.

When I turned ten, we moved to St. Louis for my father's new job. Things got much better after that. We had money for cable, and it was the first time in my early memory of living in a house without wheels. I remember being amazed by the fact that our new house had two floors. We might as well have lived in a mansion. And we had cable television for the first time I can remember. After six months, we moved to Georgia, and took another step up. We were living a middle class life and it wasn't long before those dark days of poverty were far behind us.

Those days we spent in our little trailer had a pretty lasting effect on me and my sisters. We were all much more grateful for the small things in life than many kids our age. I remember my rich doctor uncle buying us kids meals at a fast food restaurant, and how he marveled at the fact we all said thank you and were so happy for something so small. His children never bothered saying thank you, even after the big things, like going to Six Flags. I guess what I'm trying to say is growing up with not having much makes you appreciate things more, because you understand what life is like without them.

As I reflect back on my childhood and look at my daughter, I know that I want her to not go without, and I want to give her everything she needs and wants. I know how blessed I am to be able to provide for her in ways that my parents could not for me. But I also know how important it is to teach her not to take those small things in life for granted, the things many people in this country, in this world, do not have. I want her to learn to appreciate the small things, as I have learned to do. I also want her to have the opportunity to exercise a little bit of creativity and imagination. When you have everything, it seems that those things aren't needed. Not having everything you want all the time can have a really positive effect.

The take-away lesson here.... learn to be happy with what you have and you'll never feel like you missing out. Learn to be happy with less, and you'll find yourself wanting less. Remember that there are things more important than Ipods, Coach purses, and Gucci sunglasses. Be creative, be frugal, and spend money on the things that matter, not the things that don't.